Reconnection- Part 1- My Call to Christ

This may be a long post, so it is best to put this into a couple different posts. This is a build up to my recent reconnection to family that God has really orchestrated from the beginning. But, in order to get to the point of the story currently, I have to share my journey to how I met Christ and became one of His followers:

I was the first grandchild in my family on both sides, and from many memories and pictures I could tell I was spoiled rotten! My family was all in Michigan, and the first 6 years of my life I grew up as any child did - wearing some very interesting plaid clothing and Oxford saddle shoes. My parents were divorced around the time I was 6, and when that happened, my mom got re-married and moved out to California, where I followed soon after they were settled. The plan was that I would come visit my dad and grandparents for a couple months of every summer. I became a world traveler at a very young age, because they put me on a plane by myself to Michigan, and it became some of the most fun times I remember. I visited my dad for about 3 weeks at a time, however, I never saw him because of his job. He was a high school football coach, teacher, and driver instructor which kept him very busy, and there was only a few times that we really ever spent time together as father and son. He got remarried eventually and had another son, my brother, when I was about 12 years old. I was so happy to have a brother, and when I finally got to see him, we hit it off immediately. I remember having some fun times with him even with the age difference. The last time I really remember him was when he was about 3 years old, but the time we had was really fun- I taught him how to skip rocks in a pond, and we did it for hours and we would laugh. When I went to leave, he said that next time I come we should throw rocks together and laugh. I never saw him again.

My mom and step-dad got a divorce when I was about 13. My step-dad, incredibly, stayed involved in my life, even though we were not blood related, he and his parents and siblings treated me like I was their own. I really felt love, but there was still something missing- I still hadn't had that father-son connection with my biological dad. I really started to feel the hurt through my teenage years, and couldn't understand the lack of affection and attention from my dad.

When I was 16, my real dad was involved in a messy divorce from his current wife. The mess divided our families from each other- my dad's side and his wife and her family's side. Because of the circumstances, my brother's mom was protecting him from us, a fact that I understood from a certain perspective, but it still hurt. I desired a relationship with my brother, but was not able to have one with him due to the things that occurred. I desired a relationship with my real dad, but was unable to. I felt lost. Through my teenage years I began to try to fill my emptiness and hurt with alcohol, pornography and inappropriate relationships that really started to taint and ruin my image of women. I had a great family around me- my mom did an incredible job raising me as a single mom, and my uncles and aunts were always there for me- I felt more like a brother to the family rather than a nephew- rarely, if ever, did I call them "uncle" or "aunt"- I always called them directly by their names. Still, my thoughts were of how I could fill the emptiness in my heart- partying, drug experiments, sports- anything that would gain me acceptance. I needed to feel accepted, the kind of acceptance that a son gets from his father.

Enter the most beautiful woman in the world. Christmas of 1989, I met the woman God chose for me and we fell in love immediately- neither one of us were believers nor had we been brought up in any kind of church. We knew we were for each other, and that we would get married. Then, Jesus showed up! This is where it gets good, and due to the length of this first post, I will end part 1 here. (cliffhangers are cool!)

Hero to Zero

In 1979, I got my first look at one of the men I would aspire to be like. Michigan State vs. Indiana State in the NCAA championship game. Magic Johnson was my hero from the moment he won the championship and MVP of the game. I grew up just south of Los Angeles, and was a thrilled 10 year old boy when I heard Magic was drafted by the Lakers. I was a die hard Laker fan, and idolized Magic all through my adolescent years. I wanted to be him. I cheered when the Lakers won, and cried when they lost. I lived Lakers basketball. I was fortunate enough to meet him in person a few times and will never forget the encounters.


November 1991, right around my 22nd birthday, Magic Johnson announced that he was retiring from the NBA because he had contracted HIV. When I heard this, I broke down and cried. Something died inside me that day. My hero was struck down prematurely.


I don't think I cried because I would never see my hero in action anymore. I cried because I was let down by him. I had built him up so much in my mind as the perfect model of what I wanted to be, and in one instant, that image was shattered. He had everything going for him. He obviously led a private lifestyle which led him to have to make this decision at this time in his life.


People are like that all over. It doesn't matter if it is a celebrity, your parents, your siblings or pastors or your leadership at church- People will let you down. You will be or have been disappointed by someone you look up to in your life. We create an image of someone based on what is seen or their outer actions. But underneath and in the heart is what that person is really like. Look in recent history. Mel Gibson is an example. He produced one of the most powerful movies about Jesus anyone has ever seen. I have deep respect for his stepping out in faith to produce "The Passion Of The Christ". Last year he was arrested for DUI, and in the midst of the arrest spewed anti-Semitic remarks to the officers. What a disappointment! He is, however, human like the rest of us and prone to sin first. Over on the Grace and Truth blog, Wade Burleson has posted about retired pastor Rick Ousley and an inappropriate relationship he has had with a woman not his wife. Rick, as I have read, is a highly respected minster, revered by those he has led during the years of his ministry and pastor ship. Many people who have built his image up are now picking up the pieces of his shattered image and are devastated. Stories like this are all through history, and many are even in the Bible!


We can have no hope in one another, because in Romans 3 it says-"there is no one righteous, not even one." We will all disappoint someone and we will be disappointed by someone we respect and love at some time in our life. My biological father chose not to have much of an existence in my life, and that devastated me growing up as well. I have found this, however- my Heavenly Father will NEVER let me down or disappoint or forsake me. Our Heavenly Father will always be there for us. This was my draw to be an adopted child of the Most High God years ago. I have not always been an obedient child (which I pay for with the disobedience of my own children:)!) but I know that He never changes. He is there for me no matter what. God is there for all of us, no matter what.


Out of all your heroes, which ones became zeroes and disappointed you?

My Call- Part 2: A Leading

The first part of this story, I had in mind that I would not be so detailed in the happenings that led me and my family to this point in our lives. I did not want to take so much of someone's time to read about our story. There are some things I have edited for boredom's sake, but once I got started, I just kept going. This next part is the part that gets even more emotional for me, and I hope that translates into the typed word. God is so good!

When I returned from my first ever mission trip, I felt very uncomfortable, and it wasn't just jet lag! I had an empty feeling like there was something else I needed to do about my experience. I knew God was prompting me to do more, but I didn't know what. I had kept a journal of the trip, because I wanted to put it in print for my family and friends when I returned home. About 3 weeks later, I sent an e-mail to all those that contributed prayerfully and monetarily to me going. I got a lot of good feedback. I also stayed in contact with our missionary family, I'll call them the Jones'*, that was back in South Asia, and our partner who hosted us, I'll call him Thomas*. About a month after the trip, the Jones' came home for their stateside assignment, and Thomas* came to visit the U.S.

Our church was holding a reception for him Sunday and I introduced my wife to him. He greeted her with a big smile, and out of the blue, he asked her "How would you feel if the Lord called your husband to full time service in the country I live?" She said, she would have to obey. We had a wonderful time together at the reception. Thomas spoke to the group gathered and told his testimony of how he was called by the Lord out of a comfortable ministry to be a missionary in the poorest state in his country. His parents, who are Christ followers and in the ministry, told him that it was a mistake to go there. It was unsafe. Then one day during his quiet time, he read the passage of scripture that really touched his heart, and touched mine as well. "for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent?" Romans 10:13-15. (I read that scripture still today, and it keeps me going toward the goal.) Then Mr Jones* spoke and talked about missions and all God needs is a willing heart to serve, and He will do the rest. I was hooked even more, but how was I to tell my wife? My stomach was in knots trying to tell her in a way that wouldn't freak her out that we are being called to full time missions in a specific area of South Asia. Silence filled the car, until it was broken by her. "You know, I'll go wherever God will lead us." Whew!! What a load off my mind. And what a woman God gave to me!

We decided to talk further of this with the Jones', since they lived where we were called to go. I also felt led to lead a team from our church on the next mission trip to the area, regardless of not having enough time. I decided I would not limit what God had planned in my life. I contacted the associate pastor, and we had lunch the next day, with the pastor as well. I told them I would lead the next team, and he told me there was space for one more lady to go. I immediately told them my wife would go, and I proceeded to tell them why. That she needed to see where we would live because we felt God leading us to full time mission service in South Asia. Both of them fell back in their chairs, mouths wide open, and tears began to form in all of our eyes. I could tell they were so proud of the fact that God was working in the lives of families for overseas service. We sat in silence for a short time, then did the guy thing- "How about that football game last night!" We then had the Jones' over for dinner to grill them about working for the IMB in this particular area, and what to expect. We are greatful for their leadership and guidance through this whole process. So we began our detailed process of applying to the IMB for full time service, as well as preparing for the next mission trip together with another team from our church.

We began our process by telling our parents, my mother first. Our parents do not live in the state we live, they all live 2000 mile west, and are not Christ followers. So, how could we explain to them we were moving half way around the world and bringing their grandchildren with us? That is going to be a problem. We began to pray, and our small group prayed for us. Telling them went the way we thought, they cried, they wondered if it was safe, if we would take the kids, etc. They still don't understand that God had placed this call on our lives, the only decision for us to make was to obey our Lord and Savior. Once we got that out of the way, we put our house on the market. It is still for sale, and for the last 9 months we have shown it. We know God has a plan and will sell it in His time, but we still stress about it!

In my next post, I will continue, as this one is getting looooooong!

My Call- Part 1: A Mission Trip

First, let me explain how I got to be going where I will be going in 8 months. I accepted Jesus as a young adult and have been blessed with the most loving and strong bride anyone could have asked for. My life as a Christ follower has not always bee filled with my obedience to Him. I have made some huge mistakes; ones that I would never repeat. However, I am thankful for those experiences, for through God's grace, those experiences have made me what I am today.

The last 6 years I have really become more of an active member in our home church. 4 years ago, our church held a sacred gathering where the entire membership fasted for 5 days and we met every night for prayer and worship. This was our church body asking the Lord to lead us. We became a globally minded church that spring. We began to reach out with missions overseas, as well as in the U.S. We developed partnerships in several countries and sent many church members who felt called to missions to these places. I had many friends go on these trips. I supported them with prayer, encouragement and monetarily. When some of them asked if I wanted to go, I said not only NO, but HECK NO! That is not my calling. I'm perfectly comfortable to pay, pray and stay out of the way. Missions was for other people, not me.

2 years later, our church sent a team on a vision trip to set up a partnership in the South Asia region, and it made sense, since a family that were members of our church were IMB missionaries in this area. They brought the trip up at church one night, to pray for the team and to give details about the people and the lostness of the land. I suddenly felt something tugging at my heart. I began to feel like I needed to go on a mission trip there. I let it go, however because I heard the enemy tell me I was not qualified or good enough to serve the Lord on a mission trip. When the team returned, they gave their report, and it hit me again. I told my wife, who couldn't believe me either. So the call was put on the shelf again. A couple of months later, the IMB couple who were members of our church came stateside, and talked one Sunday about where they were, the incredible population that didn't know Jesus, and the huge possibilities of working among this harvest. I was hooked. I told God, "I give up. I'll do it!" I wrote an e-mail to our associate pastor in charge of missions for guidance on this situation. I asked him to tell me to go, or talk me out of this. He told me that I needed to obey God's call. He also said not to worry about cost and time, that God would provide that. I agreed and we began, as a 5 member team, to prepare for our trip.

We sent letters to friends and family to raise the $1200 for the trip. In 3 weeks, God sent us $1900. This was enough for my trip, passport, visa and immunizations. I guess God really wants me to go on this thing. I knew He would do something incredible to change my life by me going. I just didn't know what. We were to speak and teach at two different conferences to new believers who were missionaries to their areas and villages around them. I had done no formal teaching and was not much of a speaker, especially not through an interpreter. So this made me nervous and apprehensive, but I trusted God. All our preparations went well, everyone had all their paperwork done, money turned in, shots taken and we were ready to go on this 11 day trip.

When we arrived at our first destination after 24 hours of travel, we were put up in missionary housing to recover and get our feet under us. I began to get a feel for the lostness in the area, though our associate pastor who led us told us that this was not the worst of it. After the ladies shopped for some customary clothing of the area, we flew domestically to our destination city. I got off the plane, and the emotions began to hit me. God had brought me to this place, a calling on my life more than a year ago. Our contact met us and took us to the place we would stay. When we dropped our things off and then were taken to a training center for local missionaries. This was where they did their training. We were treated to some worship music in the local language. My emotions were erupting. I sat there and cried, and thanked the Lord for bringing me here to show me this.

We worshipped with, prayed over and taught 30 men the first two days, and about 25 the next two days. I felt closer to God than I ever had. We were able to visit two villages and a sewing ministry to help the local ladies learn a trade. More worship and prayer in these areas with believers. I came home on a spiritual high, as I thought I would. I thought that God was finished with me, that I did my service project and now I was to get on with my life. I was quite wrong!

To be continued.....