Reconnection- Part 1- My Call to Christ

This may be a long post, so it is best to put this into a couple different posts. This is a build up to my recent reconnection to family that God has really orchestrated from the beginning. But, in order to get to the point of the story currently, I have to share my journey to how I met Christ and became one of His followers:

I was the first grandchild in my family on both sides, and from many memories and pictures I could tell I was spoiled rotten! My family was all in Michigan, and the first 6 years of my life I grew up as any child did - wearing some very interesting plaid clothing and Oxford saddle shoes. My parents were divorced around the time I was 6, and when that happened, my mom got re-married and moved out to California, where I followed soon after they were settled. The plan was that I would come visit my dad and grandparents for a couple months of every summer. I became a world traveler at a very young age, because they put me on a plane by myself to Michigan, and it became some of the most fun times I remember. I visited my dad for about 3 weeks at a time, however, I never saw him because of his job. He was a high school football coach, teacher, and driver instructor which kept him very busy, and there was only a few times that we really ever spent time together as father and son. He got remarried eventually and had another son, my brother, when I was about 12 years old. I was so happy to have a brother, and when I finally got to see him, we hit it off immediately. I remember having some fun times with him even with the age difference. The last time I really remember him was when he was about 3 years old, but the time we had was really fun- I taught him how to skip rocks in a pond, and we did it for hours and we would laugh. When I went to leave, he said that next time I come we should throw rocks together and laugh. I never saw him again.

My mom and step-dad got a divorce when I was about 13. My step-dad, incredibly, stayed involved in my life, even though we were not blood related, he and his parents and siblings treated me like I was their own. I really felt love, but there was still something missing- I still hadn't had that father-son connection with my biological dad. I really started to feel the hurt through my teenage years, and couldn't understand the lack of affection and attention from my dad.

When I was 16, my real dad was involved in a messy divorce from his current wife. The mess divided our families from each other- my dad's side and his wife and her family's side. Because of the circumstances, my brother's mom was protecting him from us, a fact that I understood from a certain perspective, but it still hurt. I desired a relationship with my brother, but was not able to have one with him due to the things that occurred. I desired a relationship with my real dad, but was unable to. I felt lost. Through my teenage years I began to try to fill my emptiness and hurt with alcohol, pornography and inappropriate relationships that really started to taint and ruin my image of women. I had a great family around me- my mom did an incredible job raising me as a single mom, and my uncles and aunts were always there for me- I felt more like a brother to the family rather than a nephew- rarely, if ever, did I call them "uncle" or "aunt"- I always called them directly by their names. Still, my thoughts were of how I could fill the emptiness in my heart- partying, drug experiments, sports- anything that would gain me acceptance. I needed to feel accepted, the kind of acceptance that a son gets from his father.

Enter the most beautiful woman in the world. Christmas of 1989, I met the woman God chose for me and we fell in love immediately- neither one of us were believers nor had we been brought up in any kind of church. We knew we were for each other, and that we would get married. Then, Jesus showed up! This is where it gets good, and due to the length of this first post, I will end part 1 here. (cliffhangers are cool!)

So Ready!

Have you ever been geared up so much for something, but then it seems to stay so far off you seem to lose some steam? For the last month, I have been sort of going through the motions and waiting on getting to our next place of service. I've been doing other things, but it still feels like a holding pattern, and filler to tide us over until we are placed in Bangkok. It's been a long wait, but lately, God has been faithful to recharge my batteries.

We have been communicating with our teammates in Bangkok, who are preparing for our arrival to plug us into what they have been faithful to do these last 7 months on the field. This has gotten us even more excited to join them. I have also been able to plug in, and talk structure and strategy, with our home church here, and receive more insight on my role and expectations when I hit the ground in just a few weeks.

Last night, I was able to talk to my former team mate in South Asia, who has just returned to the field after a year in the U.S. We talked about some of the things we went through while on the field, but even more than that, he has been able to visit with some of the church planters that we trained together, and follow up with them - the news is really exciting! They have continued to grow and train other church planter networks and have seen growth into the 3rd generation! In addition to that, he told me that last year, while we were gone, the church planters we had trained had recorded almost 3000 baptisms, and that was only half of the number of new believers for the year! The leaders there have really come to own the training we gave them, and have really advanced the Gospel and God's Kingdom like it never has been in this area.

We continue to marvel at the great things God has been doing, and I believe it was our leaving and getting out of the way of the work and the dependency upon us to lead and teach that has really opened up the doors for God to make the growth happen in that place. We can do all the seed sowing and watering, but God gives the growth. (1 Corinthians 3:6).

This has really got me excited for what God is going to do in Bangkok and outward into Thailand. God is good, and he refreshes us as if we are trees planted along the stream. We hope to be used similarly in Thailand as we were in South Asia, and we pray that a solid church planting movement is started and we can just sit back and watch it go, until there is no place left to work! (Romans 15:23)

Newest Update

We've been off the field and home for over one year, and it has been a challenging and rewarding time for us. During our time home, we have been privileged to have many folks join our team and give to support us financially. God loves to provide, but He also loves to provide through His faithful servants to fulfill His goal and purpose of growing His kingdom on earth. We have been truly blessed by the generosity of people that believe in us and the call that God has placed on our lives. Having said that, we have gained enough financial support to be able to join our team that is already on the ground in Bangkok, Thailand. We have purchased our plane tickets and will be on the ground in Thailand February 28 of this year. Our team, all sent from our home church, has been working hard since July 2010 when they first arrived, and God has really opened up doors and provided many contacts for the team to advance God's kingdom in that place. Team Bangkok has been working closely with a local Thai leader, who has told our leadership that he has been praying 10 years for someone to partner with to expand God's kingdom among the Thai people- his countrymen. After hearing the vision that we have as a team, he has stated that his prayers have been answered. God is blessing our obedience as a team provided the contacts for us to work with among the Thai people to glorify Him.

We have felt unsettled during this year, even though God has provided us time to visit our families and friends before we go overseas again. But, we know that this is not our home- our home is where God has called us, and we are excited to be able to have a date set for our going. So now, we get to pack our things up and get ready to settle again. We count it as all joy, however to be able to be the hands and feet of our Lord and Saviour wherever He calls us.

Stateside Ministry Opportunities

Lately our travel around the country stopped, but the busyness of our lives just keeps going. We are moving along in our progress to join our team, and I have to be honest here- as proud of the team as I am and the things they are doing, we have been feeling left out and a little jealous that we are not there sharing in the sowing and building the relationships. Don't get me wrong, I know that God's timing is perfect, and we will get there in His time, not ours. But, we are feeling the way we are feeling because we are not in Bangkok yet.

However, we have been blessed to re-connect with many of our friends while we have been here in the U.S. We are making so many more connections with friends we just had simple acquaintances with before we left 3 years ago. Some of our friends from those BSA (Before South Asia) days have moved on in their lives. Others have matured in the fact that they understand what we are doing and want to be more involved in what we are doing but do not know how. The main thing is that we pull ourselves off the pedestal that people place us on (and sometimes place ourselves on) for being missionaries overseas and show them that we are normal, real people. We like to have fun and laugh, watch movies and tv shows, be frustrated with our sports teams (Michigan football is in rebuilding process, and I am okay with that), and just hang out with friends and show that it doesn't take perfect people to make an impact for Christ- it is Christ who works His perfection through our weakness to gain glory for Himself, and we rest in that and simply try to be ourselves.

With some frequent flyer miles I was able to fly to Sedona, AZ to visit my dad. It has been a long time since we have been able to just hang out and have father-son time. (I wrote about him in this earlier blogpost- Remembrance.) I was proud to go hiking, talk about and watch sports together and take a golf lesson, to which I completely forgot about when we got to the course!

Another huge re-connection happened with my half-brother. My mother and real father (not the one I visited in AZ) divorced when I was young, and my real father re-married and had a son. When I would visit my dad, I got to know him, but only when he was 3. My father then got divorced, and I lost contact with his ex-wife and my brother. For many years I tried to find him, but never could. Every now and then I would search the internet to find him but ran into dead ends and would not try again for long periods of time, and then would run into more dead ends. Just recently, I found his mom on Facebook, and was able to send her a message, not knowing if I would even get a response. Well, 26 years after I had seen him last, we were able to connect through email, and then by phone. We spent 2 hours talking about our lives up to this point and sharing hardships and similarities we shared. Our lives sort of mirrored each other as far as our relationships. We sent pictures back and forth of each other and were amazed at how much we actually do look related. This is all new territory for us, and we will meet personally soon. We live about 10 hours away, and have agreed to meet half-way somewhere. I really can't wait to meet him finally.

So, God has really held us here for some good connections- I shudder to think that if we had been in Thailand already, I would not have the opportunity to meet personally with my brother. So I am thankful for a God whose timing is perfect in every way.

Recently, I have also begun to teach discipleship to a group of college age students who are living in a low-income housing project that our church has been involved with over the years. There are many internationals living in this housing area, and the students are engaging them through an after-school program with the children and building relationships with the families they are living around. The teaching I am giving them is the same that was taught to me and the same I taught to church planters in South Asia. Their attitude, even though they are busy with college and part-time jobs is amazing. I thought they would be too tired to listen and learn this stuff, but they are so eager and hungry for this that it just blows me away. 3 guys and 3 girls sit and listen to me teach and challenge them to be all they can be for Christ. One of the guys came forward, and though he has been a follower of Christ for some years and it has changed his life, he realized he had not been baptized. He said that if he was going to make disciples and baptize, he ought to be baptized. This came from sound biblical teaching (not from me) but from God's word. Sunday, we went, as the group, to a lake area and he took baptism in front of the body of believers he knows will hold him accountable before God. It was an awesome step of obedience and maturity in this young man, and God was glorified by what he did. I look forward to the things he and the rest of the group will do for God among the people they are trying to reach. It was also an incredible picture of the body being the body outside the walls of the regular local church.

We are busy, and though we want to be where we are supposed to be now, God is showing us that geographic location does not matter- we can make an impact for God's glory where we are.

Listening

I have been kind of bad at listening to God lately. We have been so busy as a family-traveling to visit friends and family, going to missions conferences, speaking at churches. It all seems the right thing to do, but my relationship with the Father has not been a very good connection through all of this. It affects me when I do not connect with Him. I feel a real sense of being lost.

Yesterday, we sat in our home church and took the Lord's Supper together. When it came time to examine myself before taking the bread and drinking the cup, I had an interesting time of listening and hearing a conversation that Jesus had with the Father on the cross. Now, I did not hear this audibly, but in my mind, the words came and comforted me, as the comforter always does.

As Jesus was hanging on cross, here was the conversation:

"Father, here is my child Steve. I'm here representing him today. I know he has done many bad things in his life, and he has even turned away from you to pursue those things. Father I know he deserves punishment for the things he has done. But I am ready to take that punishment for him, so he doesn't have to. I am ready to take your full wrath upon myself for him because I love Steve and I want him to do great things for My Name. One day, even though he doesn't think he is ready or qualified, I will send him to people half way around the world to tell of me and what I have done for him today. I will do a great work through Steve for the sake of My name. So Father, I ask you to accept this sacrifice for Steve's punishment today, that he may be a blessing to people who have never had the chance to hear of me. Thank you for your grace upon Steve, and I promise he will be all that he is created to be, and that is My representative; My ambassador; My witness to the ends of the earth."

Now, I am not saying that is the exact conversation Jesus had with the Father 2000 years ago. I am not the only one who Jesus died for that day. However, any one of us could insert our names into this conversation and it would be essentially true. That is the power of God's grace and the truth of the Gospel. It's not just an escape from the coming judgment of God, but a blessing of new life in order to be a blessing to others.